Adventures in Sailing and an amazing Example of the Law of Attraction - July 2010

 I did it, I did it!  Yes, I did it!  I sailed!  Though I often hear how impressed and/or inspired sighted people are by so much that I’ve done, it’s rare I ever feel proud of myself because usually, I’m just living.  So when I do find myself actually feeling good about something I’ve accomplished, it’s pretty noteworthy (even if it would be a routine task for most sighted people who wouldn’t even think twice about what they were doing).

  

Not only did I begin to learn to steer the 36 footer and navigate using the feel of the wind, the sound of the sails, and the pitch of the boat, on my first day out; but I found something I wanted to do, made it happen, got there on my own (finding a place on my own that I’ve never been before is always an anxiety provoking challenge for me, especially if I don’t know the area at all, like in this case), and met a good group of interesting people – both able-bodied and disabled – who sail every weekend.  Plus uncommonly warm weather with strong winds made perfect conditions for sailing the San Francisco Bay, quite an experience of a variety of microclimates in just a few short hours.  As they say, if you can sail the Bay you can sail anywhere in the world because the conditions here are so diverse.

I still can’t quite believe I’m sailing or how it came to be that I am doing it.  It was just two months ago that, while living for a month at the facility to train with my new guidedog, my avid reading of all books that I find entertaining, inspiring, and/or meaningful, lead me to the biography of a woman who single-handedly sailed around the world.  What an adventure, and by page twenty or so, I was yearning for foreign lands, fascinating cultures, the open seas, and the community and camaraderie of the international sailing community.  A couple weeks later I was traveling in Brazil and kept meeting fellow travelers who had sailed there from various points around the globe, and who had exciting stories from previous adventures along the way.

As I lay in a hammock outside our hut on the beach of Ilha Domel, I decided that I really wanted to try sailing, but questioned how to get started and who would be able to teach a blind person.  Then, just three days after returning home, a man approached me walking down the street. “Are you blind?” he asked, and I kept walking as I told him I was (I get all kinds of ways people interact with me).  His next question made me stop though, “Have you ever been sailing with the Bay Area Association of Disabled Sailors?”   I was shocked; I couldn’t believe he had just asked that!  Out of nowhere and in less than a month, I had found a way to make my desires reality – or rather it found me.  Either way, I feel incredibly fortunate for all the opportunities such as this that occur in my life.

Oh yeah, and Chase, my new guidedog who has only been working for less than a month, though understandably unsure of this adventure, did amazingly well.  He managed to stay down between the benches of the cockpit, skitting from side to side each time the boat heeled until he got the hang of things.  Being a Black Lab and instinctively drawn to water though, after all was said and done, he loved it.

A surprisingly Positive Experience - June 2010

So, tonight I attended a meditation group for the first time, and I was very pleasantly surprised to find that it just felt right to me.  In contrast to my previous aversion to anything having to do with the subject, I found I actually felt grounded and at ease with myself and my life (not usually the case lately).  When the forty minutes was up, I couldn’t believe that I had sat silently focusing on my breath for that long.  Had I tried to do this at any time in my past, I would have been writhing in silent agony, with thoughts racing and skin crawling.  I’m really grateful that I didn’t allow myself to get pressured into meditation before I was ready, because it most likely would have turned me off to it for a lot longer.

I’m pretty sure it is safe to assume that this was my new guidedog’s first meditation too, and I’m not quite sure if it had the same impact on him. J However, accept for a slight confused reaction to the deep breathing practice at the beginning, and a few audible sighs from him during the silence, he laid at my feet pretty zen-like as guidedogs are supposed to do, regardless of the surroundings (also not always the case with him because he is so new and just figuring out what is expected of him).  All in all, this was a very positive experience on both accounts.

The Depths of Frustration With my New (Second) Guidedog - June 2010

Working with a new guidedog is so much more difficult than I ever imagined it would be.  Today I feel like shit because I canceled an appointment.  On top of my new printer not working for any apparent reason so I couldn’t print out the form I needed to bring with me, I canceled the appointment because I don’t trust my dog enough to get me home safely.  I know there are many reasons why I shouldn’t feel horrible about myself, like there is something more I could and should have done; but I do.  Though I am continually learning to further my independence, day by day, often It is still difficult not to feel something is terribly wrong with me when I can’t (or don’t feel comfortable ) accomplishing everyday tasks that others (sighted people) do with ease.