Why?

Blindness is not what defines me, but it certainly influences who I am and how I experience the world, as well – I’m sure – as how the world experiences me. Though being blind does not stop me from doing most things sighted people can, it does mean that often I have to find other, more creative ways of doing them. As a female in my late twenties, living in the heart of one of the most beautiful and progressive cities in the country, with an insatiable appetite for travel and adventure and a brand-new guidedog, I am continually met with this challenge in an endless variety of ways throughout my day to day life. I decided to start this blog as a way of getting more perspective on and making better sense of my experiences. After reaching a major transition point – a shift from always having a strong sense of what I want and where I am headed, to then receiving my Masters degree and suddenly no longer having any idea of how to proceed in life – I have a strong desire for some new form of inspiration and guidance. So, I am hoping that writing will help me to clarify a sense of purpose and direction in my much more uncertain, post academic life.

Monday, September 12, 2011

Why not?


            First, there was a magnificent trip to Cuba.  Then, another to Colombia just after that.  This was immediately followed by a work stint in the hills of Napa for the summer.  After all this, I haven’t had much time to catch my breath, much less write down anything about my experiences.  So, I thought I’d get back into the mix by starting with an adventure a little closer to home…

            “OK, ready.  Three, two, one, now!  Go, go, go, stand up!” my instructor calls to me. 
I immediately push myself up on my hands and bring my left foot up between them in a sort of twisted crouch.  Then, I attempt to rise to a standing position, preying to defy gravity and the churning waters beneath me, in order to remain upright while in motion.  “That’s it, all the way!”  I wobble a bit one way and then the other, but I’m still standing.  Hey, I’m doing it, I’m surfing!
            Through the soles of my feet I sense my boards trajectory begin to slow and veer, signaling the shoreline.  I step into the shallow waves feeling pumped – yeah, I did it!  I conquered the wave and mastered my balance.  I ignore the skeptical side of myself that wonders if this isn’t just a fluke and if I’ll actually be able to do it again.  It really doesn’t matter, I just love being out here - rocking and rolling over the relentless waves.  Not much compares to the feeling of standing on the crest of a wave being propelled towards shore, while the water before me rushes past on its way back out to sea.
            “That was awesome!  High five, right in front of ya,” my instructor informs me where to reach so he can slap my hand.  
He seems pretty pumped himself, as he steps off the back of the surfboard from where he caught the wave with me.  This only being my second time surfing, and my first being almost a decade ago, he seems quite impressed with my skill.  “You’re much better than most beginners that come out here, and you’re very easy to teach,” he tells me.  Well, you know what; I’m pretty impressed with him as well, especially given my history.
            Growing up not far from the beaches of Southern California, I’ve always been interested in surfing, but never quite knew how to get started.  I didn’t know who would be willing or have the skills to teach a blind person.  Then, while living in Hawaii for six months, the week before I moved back to the Mainland, I finally found someone.  I met a local whose life was surfing, and who seemed to find no challenge in teaching a young blind girl.  My first surf lesson was on my 22nd birthday on Waikiki Beach with an old school Hawaiian surfer.  By the end of the lesson I was standing on my board, riding wave after wave as he called them out to me.  The exhilaration and sense of accomplishment were addicting.
            Since then, I have continued to try to find someone willing to step out of their comfort zone and teach me, but until now, I have had no such luck.  People that surf who I’ve met over the years have always said they’d be willing to try, but nothing ever came of it.  Experience has taught me that it takes a special kind of person to aid me in learning a new skill – someone who is open minded, self-confident, and able to learn how to do things differently from their established way – and I’ve realized that it is sometimes worth it to me to wait for such a person to come along, rather than try to learn from someone who is not able to grasp what it is I need.
            Fortunately, such a person has appeared again in the surfing world for me.  When I called to set up the lesson, my instructor Matt, at University of Surfing in Pacifica, was not at all daunted by me being blind.  In fact, he seemed excited by the prospect, which in turn was a relief to me, seeing how this is not often the case.  Plus, once out on the water, he listened to, and was able to comprehend  what it was I needed from him.  This made not just surfing, but the overall experience of it a total success.  At the end of the lesson, as we finally turned our backs on the oceans strong allure, I put my hand under his elbow for guidance up the beach, feeling secure in the knowledge that I would be back soon.

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